REPORT: It Would Be Very Funny If All Cats Had Randy Jackson’s Voice

Animal Science researchers at University of California, Berkeley released a ground-breaking report of their latest discovery: scientists now definitively know that it would be very funny if all cats had the voice of former American Idol judge Randy Jackson


“The conclusion seems intuitive, but this is the first instance of scientific certainty with regard to this matter,” said Fatima Khan, doctoral lead of the research group. “Cats would sound fucking hilarious if they had the voice of Randy Jackson, I mean could you imagine it? A cat saying ‘It’s a no from me, dawg.’ It really doesn’t get any better than that.”


The report additionally revealed that it would be “pretty funny if they had the voice of Alec Baldwin or Clint Eastwood,” however it clarifies that Randy Jackson’s voice still carries the maximum impact.


“It’s really the result of the classic comedic combination of teeny tiny body and deep voice of a man,” said Penelope Turing, a graduate student in the research group. “Really, the more skittish and baby the cat is, the more funny it will be to hear Randy Jackson’s voice be like ‘Nah’ come out of its little tiny kitty mouth.”



We reached out to various cats; many were unbothered and gave no comment. Furry McMittens, feline resident of Brooklyn, New York, nonverbally indicated that she thought it was, “absolutely juvenile.”


At press time, results from the study regarding whether it would be funny if cats wore little cargo pants are still pending.