REPORT: Everything Is in the Other Purse

In a developing story coming out of the Jefferson Ave L train station, just as you were getting your wallet out from your bag, you realized that everything you need is actually in the other purse.


“Oh my fucking god,” you said, knowing that you’d have to walk all the way back to your apartment to get your over-the-shoulder bag instead of the much smaller one that you were already carrying.


“How could this happen?” you said to yourself. “I could have sworn that I brought this bag to my friend’s birthday party yesterday.”


You did bring it to Marissa’s birthday the day before. But then, reportedly, last night you brought your other bag to the bodega at around 12:30 a.m. because you really wanted ice cream before you went to bed.


“I don’t have my chapstick, I don’t have my advil, I don’t have the copy of All About Love I’ve been carrying around for three months to read on the subway, and I don’t have my AirPods that I use to listen to Harry Styles instead of reading All About Love.”


“There’s simply nothing that can explain this,” you add. “When I picked up the bag it literally felt like all of my stuff was inside of here!”



Sources that are also you confirm it wasn’t.


“No one deserves to go through something like this,” you said. “Now I’m gonna be so late to go to the park today.”


After the initial incident, additional reports indicated that the other bag actually looked way better with your outfit than the one you had before, so maybe it was a blessing in disguise. But not really, because you still had to walk to the train twice.