‘Remember Toilets?’ Says Woman With Clear Misunderstanding About Pandemic Restrictions

Brandi Carillo of Roxbury, MA hung out with a small group of friends in the park yesterday, revealing a disturbing piece of information to the bewilderment of her friends.


The afternoon started out with casual chatter about each other’s life in quarantine.


“Haha…remember going hugging strangers?” her friend, Sarah, said to the group. “And going to the movies? I can’t imagine doing that now!”


“I know, right?” Brandi responded. “Like…remember toilets? LOL. I get chills when I see people just casually using them in movies and TV.”


Friends went silent for a moment. One friend asked for clarification on whether she meant public toilets or like…you know, all toilets.


“Like, I literally cannot imagine putting my butt on a toilet right now! Gross!” Brandi responded, looking at each of their faces for some kind of affirmation. “I’m not about to kill someone’s grandma over a toilet.”


Friends slowly realized that Brandi might have a gross misunderstanding on proper pandemic hygiene protocol and risk.


“I heard my friend on a Zoom last week and she had to go to the bathroom to pee and I was like, what? I hope she was using a hose or one of those pee cups you get at the doctor’s office.”


“And I HOPE she was wearing a mask,” Brandi added.



“Brandi, we’re all using toilets,” Sarah added. Everyone in the group nodded. “Your toilet is safe. You just have to wash your hands.”


At press time, Brandi was still working out the implications of her decisions in the past four months.