Recently Woke Woman Thinks Everyone Should Resist Like She Does

After finally honing in on her own activism, 22-year-old, recently woke Isabelle Jacobs now believes that everyone should be resisting in the exact same way that she does.


“With all of the focus on women in the media lately, it really important for me to get others on board with activism,” said Isabelle. “And if you’re not doing it in exactly the same way, you are kind of fucked up and wrong. Seriously, do you even care about women?”


Even though she has had the privilege of not acknowledging or caring about feminism until very, very recently, Isabelle has fully committed to her newfound wokeness and thinks others should do the exact same.


“Protecting women’s rights is the most critical issue facing our country right now,” said Ms. Jacobs, who refused to identify as a feminist until after the 2016 election results came in. “All women and allies need to be actively protesting against the erosion of our rights by this administration. And we should all be doing it the most effective way, which is by wearing pussy hats and supporting all other women, regardless of what they say or think.”


Isabelle has a few suggestions for how exactly to go about doing that.


“Making signs with giant vulvas on them and screaming about justice for women aren’t the only ways to be a part of the resistance,” she said. “But those are my main methods, which I think others will find incredibly effective.”


Peers and friends of Ms. Jacobs have taken issue with her adamancy on centering only her specific methods of resistance.



“I keep trying to explain to her why I’m not gonna wear a t-shirt that says, ‘No uterus, no opinion,’” said Rebecca Dunlap, a trans classmate of Isabelle. “She…has a lot to learn.”


“Isabelle doesn’t get why I would be pissed about someone putting a pussy hat on a statue of Harriet Tubman,” added Tameika Walter, Isabelle’s only black friend. “Also, it’s really clear she doesn’t know what intersectionality means. Like, she literally doesn’t know the definition.”


Ms. Jacobs, though, doesn’t see it like that.


“At the end of the day, we’re all fighting the same battle,” she says. “And if you’re not going to join that battle in exactly the same way as me, you’re wrong and you obviously hate women.”