Racist? A White Person With the Same Last Name as Me Didn’t Give Me Reparations

I’ve always been able to see the best in people, but some things are just inexcusable. Last week, when I was at a graduate school orientation, I learned that a white student in my group named Ashley had the same exact last name as me, and she didn’t even attempt to give me reparations.

 

On top of the immediate, outright disrespect of her denying me what I’m owed, after the group’s icebreaker games, Ashley came up to me and commented on our matching surnames, saying, “Hey! I wonder if we’re related!”

 

Yeah, Ashley! I wonder where our ancestors might have crossed paths in the last few hundred years!

 

Ashley also proceeded to ask for my Instagram, which I followed up by asking for hers, and also her Venmo, so that I could later request the generational wealth that her white family stole from my ancestors for centuries. 

 

After pulling up her Instagram, I spent some time scrolling through her page, where I discovered that she’s originally from Georgia, and that her parents are both top level executives at Fortune 500 companies. 

 

Huh, I wonder where all that money and power came from!

 

I also noticed that she had posted a black square on Instagram in solidarity with Black Lives Matter in 2020, which she must have thought would have been enough activism for her, but no! I’m still waiting on my stocks, bonds, and cold-hard cash, Karen!

 

 

After this interaction, I promptly wrote a letter to the university we both attend, asking to have her acceptance revoked. I can’t imagine that such an acclaimed institution would want a full-fledged racist present in their classes. After all, if this happened to me, how many other Black people with the same last name as her has she ignored instead of awarding them with the hundreds of thousands of dollars they’re rightfully due?

 

It’s time for this racist to learn a very valuable lesson!

 

To any African-American people reading this article, I urge you to please be on the lookout. You never know which white people around you have the same last name as you and aren’t prepared to do anything about it. Remember: they aren’t anti-racist unless they are giving you everything that they have, and that’s just a start!