It seems like strong, smart women are everywhere on our screens these days. Representation is important, and it’s about time women are finally able to turn on their TVs and lie to themselves about having anything in common with the highly competent and also breathtakingly beautiful women depicted there. Which badass female character are you most similar to? For sure none of them, but take this quiz for confirmation.
How would you describe your style?
A. Whatever was on sale at Target three years ago.
B. A low-risk amalgamation of what your friends are wearing.
C. What your boyfriend says makes your ass look good.
D. Forever 21 olive green section.
What do you do if you walk by someone who looks like they’re in pain?
A. Cross to the other side of the street and pretend that you didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. You have a lot on your plate today!
B. You’re too busy texting your boyfriend that you don’t want to seem like a freak, but who is that girl in his 2009 profile picture to notice.
C. Text your mom “If I think someone on the street needs help, should I call 911?” but by the time she texts you back you don’t really remember what you were referring to.
D. Tell yourself that someone else with more medical expertise than you will probably stop and help them soon. You don’t do well in high-stress situations, anyway.
How do you spend your free time?
A. Reliving something dumb you said at work three weeks ago.
B. On Twitter getting outraged about some infraction you didn’t see first-hand, you’ve only seen the outraged reactions.
C. Listening to the same song over and over again but feeling like you should be listening to S-Town.
D. Hanging out with friends you don’t like that much.
What’s your worst fear?
A. Accidentally texting the mean thing you are texting behind your boss’s back to your boss.
B. Someone finding out you’ve never watched Breaking Bad.
C. Even the smallest bug.
D. Someone seeing you gently back into the car behind you and then drive away.
Results:
If you got mostly A’s you’re not at all like:
Olivia Pope
You might occasionally feel like your “career” means you have something in common with the hyper-competent Scandal protagonist, but face it, you can barely manage balancing your job and three social media accounts.
If you got mostly B’s you share very few characteristics with:
Daenerys Targaryen
Rewatching Game of Thrones has highlighted at least 30 occasions where you would be like “nah, maybe not today” when she was like “I will take what is mine with fire and blood.”
If you got mostly C’s you have literally nothing in common with:
Moana
Face it: you’re not brave, you probably would have tried to hook up with The Rock, and you really have no desire to leave your island (Manhattan).
If you got mostly D’s, only an idiot would think you are anything like:
Wonder Woman
You completely lack the moral optimism of your favorite superhero; when you were watching Wonder Woman, you felt yourself siding with Ares. You really can’t save everyone, and who’s to say that humanity is worth saving? Also, there are definitely some angles at which you don’t look stunningly gorgeous.
It’s 2017, and studio executives have finally realized it’s important for little girls everywhere to look up to strong, heroic women but never really come close to emulating them. Hopefully, realizing how little similarity you have with the much lauded female heroes on our screens will help you just be honest with yourself and stop taking so many online quizzes.
