Even though you just walked in from work and loudly dropped your bag on the floor, your boyfriend still hasn’t opened the bedroom door. Is your relationship unsalvageable, on the rocks, or was that business trip he had to take to Florida this week? Take this fun-formative quiz to find out:
1. After you insulted his mother during dinner last night, he:
a. Said nothing, since he was eating in the bedroom with the door closed while watching The Simpsons.
b. Went to the bedroom and slammed the door.
c. Sent a text that said, “Just had a great fish dinner by the beach! Miss you, babe!!”
2. When you sent him your daily nude selfie/apology for what you’d said last night, he:
a. Blocked your number.
b. Replied with a picture of his middle finger.
c. Didn’t reply for several hours, then sent a text that said, “Sorry! Had to turn off phone for plane ride. What about my mom? Heading out with colleagues for margs!”
3. When you went to the kitchen and banged some pots and slammed some cabinet doors to get his attention, he:
a. Continued watching The Simpsons in the bedroom with the door closed, and he turned up the volume.
b. Yelled from the bedroom, “We should break up!”
c. Did nothing, because even you can’t bang shit loud enough to be heard all the way in another state.
4. When you purposely dropped a glass and cut yourself and let out a loud cry hoping he’d put whatever is bothering him aside and come out here to help you, he:
a. Came in the kitchen, grabbed the donuts, and went back to his Simpsons marathon.
b. Looked at your cut hand and said, “This doesn’t change how I feel. This is over.”
c. Texted, “On the phone w/ JetBlue, trying to get an earlier flight back! Love you!!!”
Results:
Mostly As: Sorry, honey! Your boyfriend is more intimate with Homer Simpson than with you. Looks like you are heading toward a breakup.
Mostly Bs: Your boyfriend is leaning away from you, but there’s still a chance to make it right.
Mostly Cs: Your boyfriend is in Florida. Aloha!
