Things are getting dire. All you’ve got left in your fridge is a handful of waterlogged baby carrots and some expired eggs that are maybe still okay (you haven’t gotten around to doing the float test yet). It’s clearly time for a grocery store run. But when you open up your notes app you are faced with a classic predicament: Are these your weekly essentials, or are you moonlighting as Rupi Kaur? Let’s take this stanza by stanza to figure it out:
Soap – urgent
Coffee (check that it is ground this time!!!)
- This is a sadly poetic depiction of a character entirely off the rails, with a hearty dose of hyperbole thrown in.
- Two important grocery items with helpful reminders!
Frozen gyoza
Frozen fried rice
Frozen pizza
- This is a great example of a little thing we poets like to call anaphora (Google it). Plus, a raw look at the intersection of modern consumerism and mental health.
- 5-8 delicious solo dinners!
Twizzlers
Maybe a cute little succulent??
- A substance not meant to be digested by the human body followed by a clear cry for help. Sad poem, full stop.
- I…think it might be nice to have something to take care of?
Apples
Broccoli
Green onion/scallion/chives thing? Is it the same?
The key to happiness???
- Clearly, a very sad poem. We are branching into the realm of the absurd here. Any functional adult knows green onions and scallions are the same thing, and chives are their weird, grassy little sibling. Plus, if this was a grocery list, it would’ve stated “Peanut Butter Cups” instead of “the key to happiness???” But the writer is engaging in some synecdoche.
- This is literally my grocery list. I need to get all of these things.
I hate you
For leaving me alone with my thoughts
I wish I could leave me too
Hot Cheetos
Salad Bags
Seltzer
- Tough call! This stanza does seem to include some of the makings of a great grocery list. But the use of the poetic device apostrophe at the beginning takes us more into the realm of sad poetry.
- Ugh, this is also my grocery list. I am working on it, okay?
Results:
Mostly 1’s: This is a very sad poem. You go, girl! You’re basically the William Carlos Williams of your generation.
Mostly 2’s: This is probably your grocery list. Phew. But hey! Have you by chance ever considered journaling about your feelings as an emotional processing exercise? Could be fun, idk.
