Uptalking is when statements are spoken with a rising intonation, making them sound more like questions. Are you guilty of it? It can be hard to tell, because you might just be a woman, and women talk in a myriad of ways that are wrong. But you also could be Bob Dylan, one of history’s greatest musicians and songwriters, who often sings with a rising lilt in his voice. How can you tell which you are? Take the quiz and find out!
1. A friend has a wild new accessory. What might you say to her about it?
a. “So cute? I love how it coordinates with your outfit?”
b. “Well, I see you got your brand new, leopard-skin pillbox hat?”
2. Someone’s wronged you. You’re feeling passive-aggressive. You might say
a. “I’m not mad, it’s whatever, but…you kind of hurt my feelings?”
b. “I ain’t sayin’ you treated me unkind? You could have done better but I don’t mind? You just kinda wasted my precious time? But don’t think twice, it’s all right?”
3. You’re out dancing and the DJ’s taking requests. You go up to him and say:
a. “I’d love to hear some Beyoncé?”
b. “Hey? Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me? I’m not sleepy and there is no place I’m going to? Hey? Mr. Tambourine Man?”
4. You’re sick of your job. You work hard, but they’re not promoting you or paying you a reasonable wage. So you tell them:
a. “I’m leaving for a place that will value me more and gives me an opportunity to grow?”
b. “I ain’t gonna work on Maggie’s farm no more?”
5. On a second date, this guy is hot, successful, and sweet. But then he says he thinks Amy Schumer’s “overrated.” You say:
a. “Uhhh, okay?? Check, please??”
b. “Hmm, just somethin’ we’re gonna have to forget?”
If you answered mostly A’s: Uptalker?
You’re Just Like a Woman. Get it? Like the Bob Dylan song? Okay, maybe you don’t, but with mostly A’s, you are definitely a woman; a woman who is not making declarative statements with any level of confidence. This is wrong, and being told you talk wrong is always the first step!
If you answered mostly B’s: Bob Dylan?
Whoa, you’re Bob Dylan! Mr. Dylan, we are huge fans. We love the way that you sing everything. You’re a legend, an icon, and a personal inspiration to us. Thank you so much for humoring us by taking this quiz, and for being who you are?
If you answered a mixture of A’s and B’s: You’re a woman singing a Bob Dylan song!
Is it really fine for you to uptalk if it’s when you’re singing a Bob Dylan song, in the way he sings it? We don’t know. The answer is blowing in the wind? Haha, like the song!
