Professor Proudly Displays Summer Office Crying Hours

With graduation behind her and summer session ramping up, NYU professor Emily Praebe proudly posted her new, reduced summer office crying hours. The sun is out, the days are longer and Professor Parebe can now be found crying in her office from 10am to 4pm Monday through Thursday.


Students are welcome to join at any time, although crying is optional.


“Academia is hard for teachers and students alike,” Emily proudly exclaimed as snot poured from her face this Wednesday afternoon. “But I’ve always had an open door policy. I encourage my students to stop by my office Monday through Thursday and just have a good cry, or watch me cry, or I can watch them cry and then they can watch me cry. Even with the reduced hours, we should be able to get in a lot of crying.”


Professor Praebe began offering open crying hours after realizing her work/cry balance was negatively affecting her success as a tenure-track assistant professor. “I was sneaking around, crying for a second when I bent over to pick up a pen, or sobbing for a quick minute while I pretended to find a mint in my purse. I was trying not to openly weep at the printer when the idea finally came to open this up to students as well.”


Emily explained that winter semester had made it especially difficult for carving out time to cry in a bathroom stall, but that the summer could potentially be even more difficult. “Nothing is worse than sitting in your dimly lit office when the weather is beautiful and you could be howling outside on a park bench or at the beach,” she explained. “That’s why some of my office crying hours are outside. If you’ve never cried on a New York City street, I highly recommend it. It’s terrible, but thrilling and exceptionally freeing.”



Emily said that her personal summer plans include lots of time spent exploring the great outdoors. “There are tons of great hiking areas right outside the city that’d I’d love to visit, and to be honest, my crying doesn’t end when I leave work. Apparently there is a canyon where you can hear your own high-pitched crying voice echoed for miles.”


“I know that sounds morose,” she added. “But I teach political science. Do you know how much of a fucking nightmare that is right now? I need to go scream into a canyon.”