“I have a wickedly intense craving for my unborn child,” says Tracy Antonucci, while dipping raw Vidalia onions into Nutella wrapped in grape-flavored Big League Chew. “I’ve been trying to replicate what my brain is telling my mouth my baby would taste like, to no avail. I just really want to eat my kid.”
Antonucci claims it takes everything in her power to avoid medically inducing the birth of her child and deep-frying the tender, savory second-trimester fetus. “I obviously would never ever do anything to hurt my child. My husband and I have been trying so hard for a third – but I’d really like to rip it out of me, cover it in maple syrup and then put it back in me through my mouth.”
Since her cravings started, she has made it clear to friends and family that she is not a “baby eater” and that no one’s infant or toddler is in harm’s way. “I truly don’t want to eat anyone else’s children. Just mine. Just the one inside me.”
“When Tracy was pregnant with Relph and Aydin, she only craved the normal things, like 3AM sushi or beef jerky,” says husband, Patrick. “I plan on being as supportive as possible for her, but I worry whenever she starts rubbing her stomach while licking her lips. I caught her the other day eating the ultrasound picture.”
“These cravings will definitely pass once I give birth,” said Antonucci. “They don’t taste the same once they’re out of the womb.”
