People look at me differently. When I’m spotted skipping down the street or staring at the sky, people are probably wondering, “Who is this girl?” “Where is she going?” and, “What is she thinking?” Unbeknownst to them, I’m asking myself the same questions. Because I’m not the free spirit they think I am. I just have ADHD.
My wavy hair, eclectic style and distracted gaze lead people tend to assume I’m a carefree, seasoned traveler. But the thing is, I just can’t sit still long enough to do my hair or create a cohesive outfit. Whenever I have a chance to explain why I haven’t been to India, people always look confused, and to that I respond with, “I’m confused too!” Seriously, I can hardly get around my town, let alone the world.
Every birthday my family gives me turquoise jewelry and incense. Why are they assigning me this bohemian identity? I don’t follow any spiritual path, because I can’t really follow anything for more than a few minutes at a time.
I suppose it’s easy to mistake my inability to focus on anything for a free, liberated mind. After all, I am in the woods a lot, although it’s usually a result of trying to find the grocery store. My centered gaze may also be perpetuating the myth that I’m more of a spiritual person than I appear to be. While I may look as though I’m meditating, I’m probably using all of my concentration to deduce whether or not I’ve put on a bra that day based on how cold my boobs feel. Like, right now…they feel kind of cold. Did I put on a bra today? How do you feel about cake? Why am I on this bus?
To those who are thinking, “This girl knows where to take the best yoga classes,” or “She is a wild horse I would like to ride alongside,” just stop now. I’m so much more than a free-spirited globetrotter. Or so much less. I don’t know. Wait, sorry. What are we talking about? I was just thinking about pasta.