In a devastating and unforeseeable turn of events, it has become apparent that the friends 24-year-old Brooklyn resident Gabi Ayad made at the a workout class she specifically joined in order to make friends actually enjoy working out.
Okay, yeah, that backfired!
“This is not the outcome I was hoping for at all,” Gabi, who had just moved to Brooklyn this past month, told reporters. “I thought once I made some friends in my yoga class, we could move on to other things like going out to eat or laying on the couch watching movies. But it turns out, they want to go back to that yoga class? I’m sick.”
Gabi told reporters that she initially joined a workout class based on advice she’d read about how to make friends in a new city.
“All the advice I’ve seen is like, ‘Meet like-minded people by taking a class for an activity you’re interested in,’” Gabi said. “But I guess by ‘like-minded people’ I was thinking ‘people who want to grab drinks’ and by ‘activity you’re interested in’ I was thinking ‘the Core Power that’s directly across the street from my apartment.’ It never even crossed my mind that people taking a yoga class might actually be interested in doing yoga consistently.”
It’s okay, girl, there’s no way you could’ve possibly seen that coming!
However, in spite of her new pals’ obscene obsession with yoga, Gabi says they have actually invited her to do other things.
“Last week, they invited me to go on a bike ride with them,” Gabi said. “At first, I was super excited. I thought we might do a leisurely little ride around Prospect Park and then maybe grab a bite to eat after. Nope. I unintentionally committed myself to a grueling 12-mile speed ride that was somehow 90% uphill. They were all wearing those stretchy little bike suits and everything. Their shoes had spikes on them. I don’t want to talk about it.”
At press time, Gabi had made a hollow promise to attend a 5:30 a.m. Soul Cycle class with her new friends, while simultaneously enrolling in another class in which she hopes to meet people who are actually interested in the same things as her.
“I just signed up to do improv! It’ll be easy to just knock out one class, meet some people I vibe with, and then never talk, think, or hear about improv ever again. Right? Right?”
