Nicholas Sparks’ Wife: ‘Romantic Gestures Are Not Orgasms’

After ending their marriage of 25 years, Cathy Sparks lamented that her husband’s propensity for grand, romantic gestures did not make up for serious inadequacies in the bedroom.


The author, Nicholas Sparks, is known for his romance novels full of epic courtships fraught with twists and turns.


“That part about climbing the Ferris wheel? He actually did that,” says Cathy. “Did he ever go down on me? Absolutely not.”


Cathy cited other concerns about their home life, including daily, handwritten letters and zero orgasms. Sparks once went on an ocean journey for months, sending her heartfelt messages only through floating bottles. “You think I had even a hint of an orgasm during that time?” she asked. “And he thought I would be swept off my feet by the bland missionary-style sex we had on our canopy bed.”


She added, “There’s a reason you never hear the word ‘clit’ in those books: He doesn’t know what the hell it is.”



Pointing to the telescope that the famous author once built her while she was recovering from Lasik eye surgery, she noted, “Being able to see better actually made me hornier, but before I knew it, he was dragging me through another flock of fucking beach birds.”


“She really was my muse,” Nicholas said of the former lending company account executive, who he proposed to in a thunderstorm but never let try a girl-on-top position.