In what has been self-dubbed a “medical miracle,” 27-year-old Alicia Barnes’ concerning medical affliction has miraculously disappeared after she decided it was a normal part of who she is.
“I used to be really worried about the huge, misshapen, multi-colored, constantly changing mole on my back,” the Cleveland, Ohio local told reporters. “That is, until I decided that I’m just someone who has huge, misshapen, multi-colored, constantly changing moles and it’s nothing to be concerned about.”
Reporters wanted to make it clear that the mole on Alicia’s back still remains – and has actually grown bigger and weirder-looking – the only thing that has changed is Alicia’s perception of the mole: shifting from “potentially cancerous” to “a totally normal thing to have on my back.”
Sources close to Alicia don’t share her views and have urged her to get the mole checked out.
“That mole on her back is not ‘normal’ in any sense of the word!” Alicia’s stressed-looking mom, Deb, told reporters. “When she sent me a picture of it two weeks ago, I almost fainted. And while we’re at it, it’s not ‘standard’ to feel a little bit nauseous all the time and it’s not ‘going Alicia mode’ to have several teeth randomly fall out.”
In response to her mom’s statements, Alicia has begged her loved ones to accept her for who she is, saying, “I wish they would stop trying to change me.”
“I don’t know why she thinks that wanting her to get the obviously malignant mole on her back examined by a medical professional is ‘trying to change’ her,” Alicia’s sister, Bella, told reporters. “She’s only had it for a year and a half. It’s not what she calls ‘a structurally significant’ part of her back.”
Alicia said that she didn’t understand why her family couldn’t just be happy that her concerning medical condition miraculously cleared up.
“I no longer have a big, worrisome mole on my back!” Alicia said. “Now, I just have a ‘classic Alicia’ mole on my back, and all my cancer fears have disappeared. I’ve never been happier, or more secure in my perception of what’s ‘normal’ for my body. Why can’t they just let me have that?”
As of press time, Alicia still insisted that her now fist-sized mole was “super regular” for her. Additionally, when reporters informed her that her hair had somehow caught fire at some point during the interview, she was quick to brush them off, saying, “Oh, it just does that sometimes.”
