In an inspiring story out of Washington D.C., NASA has unveiled their most technologically advanced application of AI robotics to date: a robot that fucking loves margs.
“All our robots are extremely sophisticated,” said lead engineer Samyra Mathis. “But we’ve spent years trying to figure out how to imbue them with a fundamental human quality. Then it hit us: Let’s make a robot that just absolutely loves margs.”
The prototype, nicknamed AM-A-ND4, is the latest development in NASA’s pursuit of true artificial intelligence, and sources confirm it’s the life of any party.
“If you had told me a few years ago that we’d make a robot that can distinguish between a Classic Lime and a Frozen Strawberry-Basil Marg, I would’ve called you crazy,” said program engineer Maia White. “We’ve finally taken artificial intelligence once step further and created an artificial wacky girlie who wants it on the rocks with salt.”
Sources confirm AM-A-ND4 has gone so far as to head off-campus to the local Applebee’s for dollar margs on a Thursday, even though they aren’t even that good.
“The scientific possibilities are endless,” White continued. “When you’ve created a robot that’s favorite song is ‘Tiktok’ by Ke$ha, there’s clearly no limit on human ingenuity.”
AM-A-ND4’s remarkable capabilities don’t end there; not only does it love margs, but it can also order one from a bar for every member of a bachelorette party and scream “LAST NIGHT OF FREEDOM, BABES!!” loud enough that a few people leave.
However, not everyone is thrilled with this new development.
Local citizen Randa Meyers is concerned that NASA has finally taken AI too far: “If robots can like margs now, what’s left to separate them from humans?” she asked.
Sources confirm the answer is “absolutely nothing.”
Scientists have also been troubled by a recent change in AM-A-ND4’s behavior. After discovering how much it likes margs, AM-A-ND4 has stopped gathering data (as it is intended to do) and has reportedly decided to hang out and have a good time.
“We’ve made a robot so human that it now thinks conducting scientific research is ‘too hard,’” said Mathis.
At press time, AM-A-ND4 could be found at a beach, short-circuiting in the water with its friends. Meanwhile, NASA has unveiled plans to introduce a new robot, one that likes margs a lot, but not enough to focus on them full time.
