My Zodiac Sign Wasn’t Compatible With My Baby, So I Left Her in a Walmart

When I discovered my little baby girl was destined to be born in January, I did everything in my power to make sure she was born before the 20th. A little Capricorn baby – what a dream! However, as it turns out, Mother Nature had other plans and I was stuck with a motherfucking Aquarius. 


As I’m a May Taurus, this relationship was destined to fail from the start. Which is why I ultimately made the decision to leave my newborn infant in a Walmart and never look back.


Before you start judging me, you have to know I’ve literally never gotten along with an air sign, and I don’t see myself starting now. Had I decided to raise her, we would’ve been in constant turmoil. Leaving her behind in the Electronics section was the best thing for both of us.


Sure, maybe I could have made it work if she were a Virgo moon or a Capricorn rising or something – I really vibe with other Earth signs – but that’s just not how things shook out. She’s literally a Sag rising with an Aries moon. Like, could we be more different?


Granted, I’m an Aries moon as well, but I’m a healed Aries. Huge difference. I can already tell she’s super impulsive and self-centered, which is classic unhealed Aries. Yeah, that’s also just how babies are, but I know for her it’s her Fire Moon wound rearing its ugly head.


Don’t get me wrong, I wish her nothing but the best. She has my eyes. I just can’t see our mother-daughter relationship working out. I hope she finds a nice adoptive Libra who can balance her out. She deserves that. And I deserve a chill Virgo in my life.


I’ll admit, maybe Walmart wasn’t the best place to abandon my progeny, but I was in a pinch (read: I was in a Walmart and I didn’t want to be there – or her mother – anymore).


You get it, right?


She deserves a mother who understands her, not a Taurus with absolutely no air in her chart who is destined to fundamentally misunderstand her. So why waste either of our time?



In the end, it was the best decision for both of us.


Hopefully she’ll get taken in by a Libra or a Gemini and hopefully I never have to encounter that duo because oh my god, kill me?


And even if no one takes her home, she’ll still get to grow up in a Walmart! What more could an independent, creative Aquarius want?