It’s freezing, you’re all bundled up, and you look more like a shape resembling a circle than a human woman. But just because you’re not scantily clad in a yellow polka dot bikini doesn’t mean that you can’t get some during these cold winter months. Here are some of our favorite and most successful seasonal pickup lines to use this frosty season!
“Is your coat puffier or have you been working out?”
Clearly no one is in great shape right now, but the implication that he’s looking more jacked than normal will give him an insta-boner.
“Plow here often?”
This also works on farmers!
“My nickname in high school was Butt Warmer.”
It’s because you let that one guy sit on your face!
“These fingerless gloves aren’t just for me.”
They’re also for him! When you’re stimulating his prostate outside.
“This sidewalk must be unsalted, because I just fell for you.”
The perfect line for when that guy helps you up after your break your tailbone. You’re welcome!
“What’s a nice guy like you doing in a Burlington Coat Factory like this?”
This is great for when you get caught shoplifting vital warm weather clothes from Burlington Coat Factory!
“This snowfall makes me want to see your snowballs.”
Boing-oing-oing! Important: Make sure it’s a human man, and not a snowman.
“I’m wearing a lot of layers, want to watch me undress for twelve minutes?”
Guys love being teased!
“This puddle isn’t the only thing that’s wet right now.”
The other thing is your pussy! Trust us, he’ll get it.
“10 bucks if you can find which part of my body is the warmest.”
Hint: It’s your armpit!
Good luck getting frisky with another human body!
