Proving that everyone could use a brush-up on the dictionary sometimes, 23-year-old Fiona Oxley has been confidently proclaiming that she’s having a “manic episode” for the past couple of hours when actually what she means is she’s having a good day.
“Something crazy is going on with me!” Fiona told reporters. “I woke up early today, cleaned my room, texted my friend asking to hang out, and I might go see a movie later. I have no clue why this is happening! Manic alert!”
Sources confirm it’s actually super normal to feel good for a day. It makes even more sense in Fiona’s case because she just got a promotion, so she’ll probably experience heightened levels of joy across the board for a couple of weeks, as is common when a positive life change occurs.
“I’ve never been manic like this before,” Fiona continued, clearly forgetting the time last week when she kind of did the same thing. “Somebody stop me!”
According to the DSM-5, “mania” is an abrupt change in mood (often euphoric or angry) that lasts at least one week, or any amount of time if the patient requires hospitalization. People experiencing mania often make impulsive, risky decisions, experience impaired judgment, and have an inflated sense of invincibility, which can be a dangerous combination. In cases of patients with bipolar disorder, mania is often followed by intense periods of depression.
According to Fiona, mania is all about waking up early and getting a lot done.
“I’ve been manic before, like genuinely manic,” said Fiona’s close friend Heidi Parker. “I didn’t sleep for three days, spent all the money in my savings account, and was convinced I should start a new life in the Netherlands. It was honestly really scary and coming out of it felt like a devastating crash. But yeah, Fiona’s thing seems … tough, I guess? Or good? I don’t know how she’s framing it.”
Sources confirm Fiona is definitely framing it as a good thing.
“I finished my work pretty fast today and now have a bunch of time to hang out and walk around,” Fiona continued. “This is so manic of me! I hope it lasts forever.”
As of press time, Fiona got tired around the afternoon – as is common – and started to fear that she was actually now “super depressed.” Fingers crossed things turn around by tonight because she’s got a party to go to!
