Man Builds Home In ‘Gray Area’ of Consent

This week, 34-year-old Luke Garner finally finished building a two-story custom home on an acre of land within the newly developed “gray area” of consent. He plans on spending his remaining days living comfortably in this new space, which is technically legal and frequently habited, though frowned upon by most.


Garner attended college at Princeton University, where he studied economics and architecture. He loved his time at the Ivy League, and in fact first began spending time in the gray area during school.


“I love living in the gray area,” says Garner, as he surveys his land. “I used to love hanging out here when I could, but always knew that I wanted a permanent place. I can relax here. I’ve convinced most of my bros to live in the gray area too. It’s a blast.”


Sources confirm the residents in the area are 98% cisgendered men, and also that one girl who kind of forcefully made out with you in college.


“It’s simple living,” says Garner. “I grow vegetables, read books and propagate the idea that men are the gatekeepers of consent.”


When pressed about the gray area being a myth to excuse assault, Garner was quick to push back.


“Enthusiastic consent – Now that’s the myth,” says Garner.


Several women from Garner’s past have tried to explain that building a home and settling into the ‘gray area’ has allowed him to wrongly assume he’s done nothing wrong.


“He’ll never own up to his actions,” says Patrice Sarbor, Garner’s classmate at Princeton. “I don’t think he’s ever heard a ‘no’ as a ‘no’.”



At the conclusion of this interview, Garner had a message for women trying to debunk the myth of the gray area:


“The gray area is my home,” he said. “What if I invaded your space and tried to take away a part of you? I bet you ladies wouldn’t like that!”


Sources confirm that no, women wouldn’t like that.