Just Steven’s Horoscope

Here are this month’s horoscopes for Steven:


Capricorn (Steven)


A lot is going on in your life right now, Capricorn, even if it seems like nothing at all. Maybe you should learn to focus on what’s important to you before what’s important to you decides you’re not worth the trouble? When Pluto goes into retrograde in the 8th, take some time to reevaluate a current situation. If you’re seeing someone, you shouldn’t be. You should definitely break up with your current girlfriend who, frankly, is a bit boring and doesn’t really “get” you.


Open your eyes to a new opportunity when Mercury enters your rising house in the middle of the month. Maybe the person you’ve been looking for has been there all along. For instance, it could be a close friend who’s loved you from afar for nearly a year and a half. Open your heart to someone who’s not really your type and of whom you often say, “She’s like a sister to me.” The stars seem to think she could be much, much more. She’s kind of hot if you think about it, Capricorn.



Avoid saying, “You’re such a cool girl, Kate. You don’t give me half the shit Alison does. I’m glad we’re friends,” to anyone on the 24th. Kate would never cheat on you like Alison does. What’s that? You didn’t know? Sorry, Capricorn. It’s been in the stars all along.


Take a risk and put yourself out there when Saturn, your ruler, moves into Taurus at the end of the month. It might be time to stop stringing Kate along. She’s been patiently waiting for you to ask her out like the good loving Taurus she is, because she knows that you two are so right for each other. That is, the stars know. If you’re never going to ask her out, please just end the friendship and save her the pain of unrequited love. Jesus, Steven, we mean Capricorn, how are you so blind??!



Also, you might find $20 this month!