Jennifer Aniston Enters Thirteenth Trimester of Pregnancy

After years of being a tragic, barren failure, it looks like America’s former sweetheart is finally about to welcome a new little friend of her own—and we’re not talking about Monica or Joey! Sources close to the Brad Pitt reject report that after more than a decade of waiting and 36 months of gestation, the Good Girl actress is finally about to become a mommy. “Finally,” said the source. “She’ll be somebody.”


Buzz from friends of the living mannequin (whose best accomplishment to date had been debuting “the Rachel” haircut) is that Jen doesn’t want to go public with the pregnancy until she passes the high-risk first 13 trimesters. Still, while Aniston has been close-lipped about the upcoming arrival, baby-bump photos from 2011, 2012, 2013, and last week just don’t lie, and astute observers have noted the star sporting that special pregnancy glow since the first Obama administration.



Members of the mommy-to-be’s inner circle report that the then-42-year-old-now-45-year-old turned to IVF after years of being cast aside by most of the fertile males in Hollywood. “Jen just got tired of waiting and decided to take matters into her own mysterious womb,” noted an insider source who nobly chose to remain anonymous. “She knew she wasn’t getting any younger.”


After an amount of time equal to that in which 144 cartons of milk could expire, the icon who was once losing to Angelina Jolie cannot wait to be a mom. Sources say it shouldn’t be too much longer. Aniston’s due-date is just a week after the Friends reunion movie is scheduled to debut.