Is He Into You Or Just Kind?


It’s a classic dilemma: There’s a super cute guy who treats you like you’re something special. But why? Is he expressing his interest in you as a future sex partner, or is he just a good person? Here are some questions to ask yourself the next time you need to figure out whether you’ve found yourself a potential boyfriend, or just a decent human being.


What kind of eye contact is he making?

This guy listens when you talk. Like, really listens. He doesn’t text, he doesn’t pick at his clothes; he just stares directly into your eyes with a look that says, “You matter.” If those eyes occasionally flicker down to your boobs and over the curves of your body, you’ve struck gold–he’s totally into you! If not, he probably just has really good manners. Better luck next time!


What little details does he remember about you?

Even if you said it as an aside and didn’t think he’d remember, this gem of boy remembers all the things that make you…you. If those details are mostly related to your past love life and sexual preferences, we can almost guarantee he has the hots for you. If the things he remembers more general—your hopes and dreams, your favorite book, your brother’s accident—then sorry, honey—he’s just a great guy!



What’s his body language like?

This fella is always offering to hold open doors for you and walk you home from the subway late at night. If his arm is around you the whole time, then he wants to be your boyfriend. If he maintains a respectful distance, he’s probably just a gentleman: steer clear!


What help does he offer?

Unlike other guys who are lazy and never notice when you need help, he’s always lending you a hand. If the things he’s helping with take place in a bedroom, such as studying or watching all the Godfather movies because he can’t believe you haven’t seen them, he’s totally thinking about sex. If his offers are more along the lines of driving your convalescent sister to physical therapy or giving you a call after a really bad day, he’s definitely a sweet, sensitive dud.


How does he treat other people?

You know how this guy treats you—like a fucking princess—but how does he interact with the world around him? If he treats every person he comes across with the same amount of generosity and respect, he’s probably just accepting and empathetic. Bummer! But if he ignores all the uggos and old fogies, he must really think you’re special. Hold on tight: You’ve found yourself a keeper!


There’s a fine line between sexual tension and kindness. Hopefully, these tips will ensure that you’ll never make the mistake of falling for a super nice person again.