Every woman feels unconfident or uninspired at work from time to time. But even when you’re feeling down, “power posing” can boost your mood and give you strength—at least until your boss pops in the bathroom and catches you practicing powerful stances in the mirror like a moron. Here are three inspiring power poses that will make you feel really fucking stupid when your boss catches you doing them!
Wonder Woman Pose
Stand with your legs apart and plant your hands firmly on your hips. Lift your chest and chin as you admire your strength and resiliency in the mirror. Just when you start to feel like a goddamn superhero who could easily defeat an entire army of men, you’ll hear a toilet flush and see your manager Kate emerge from a stall, sending you into a complete panic. Oh god, was she in there the whole time? You didn’t sing the Wonder Woman theme out loud, did you? Quick, pretend to be fixing your hair — annnnd great, now you look that the idiot who spends her time singing and primping in the bathroom instead of doing her job. Fuck, this was such a stupid idea.
Arms in the Air
Use the same wide-legged stance as the Wonder Woman Pose, but lift your arms to the sky, palms facing forward, fingers extended and shoulders pressing down. Give yourself permission to take up space—until you hear the bathroom door clang open and see head of HR Melissa standing there holding a travel toothbrush. For god’s sake, put your arms down, you fucking weirdo! Why are your arms still up? Crap crap crap, Melissa is so smart and responsible and now she thinks you’re some kind of unhinged lunatic. And she’s definitely going to be at your performance review this afternoon. Uggggh, why did you do this?
Hands Behind Head
While standing upright, place your hands behind your head in a position similar to someone doing sit-ups. This pose is great for opening up the chest, allowing confidence to soar into your heart until Lillian, the East Coast Head of Sales, walks in, looks at you in confusion, and asks if you’re okay. Ah, fuck. She’s definitely not going to buy whatever half-assed excuse about neck pain you come up with, so just mumble something and try to get out before she notices your face turning bright red. Maybe you can hide in the copy room until she leaves for the day? This isn’t going well.
Before you give that next big presentation or ask for that promotion, give power posing a try! It’s certain to boost your confidence until it super doesn’t.
