If Going Outside is So Great Then Why – Oh, Oh Okay Yeah This is Nice

During quarantine, a lot of people have been preaching the importance of getting outside in order to preserve one’s mental and physical health, but I’m not sure I buy it. You’ve likely heard plenty of people droning on about the benefits of taking a daily walk or “breathing fresh air”, but I’m here to speak for those of us perfectly content to stay inside. And honestly, if going outside is so great then how come– Ohhh. Oh yep. Okay, wow, yeah this is nice.


So, fine, maybe once in a blue moon it won’t kill you to take a stroll through the neighborhood, but on the whole, the “great” outdoors is overhyped. And sure, granted, before COVID I used to walk to work every day, walk to and from the train when I went out, walk to the coffee shop to grab a drink. But really what’s the difference between walking miles outside nearly every single day and walking .1 miles inside my apartment to go to the kitchen a few times between sleeps? It’s not like going outside will improve my mood or indigestion. Oh, it definitely will? Well, let’s just see about that because I’m outside right now and I don’t— oh goddamn. Okay, it’s pretty good.


Okay, so walking has its merits. I could have told you that. But I could walk more in my home. If “outside” is so freaking amazing then why am I opening my building door right now and— oh, wow. Okay, hi. The air that’s not inside my apartment is sort of different actually. The way it’s filling my lungs is sort of, I don’t know, life-giving?



Whatever. I’m a reasonable person. I’m totally willing to admit that there are some aspects to going outside that are on the fine-to-pleasant scale. But with that being said, who wants to slip on their shoes, put on their mask, grab their keys and headphones? I mean it’s so much work, and for what? To feel the blood flowing through your body? The breeze against your skin? The joy of passing by happy families, friends enwrapped in conversation, dogs sniffing around? FUCK it’s absolutely lovely. Are you happy now? I love this.


But at the same time, we must remember that— ugh, fuck it, I’m going to the park and I’m staying till the sun goes down. To outside!