I Wrote My First Passive-Aggressive Email, Not That You Care

White Woman Speaks:

Until last week, I never thought I’d have to put someone in their place so directly. But my best friend, Sarah, had pushed my buttons for the last time. Not that you even asked, or anything.


Sarah and I were making crafts to sell at a lupus fundraiser (or rather, I was making crafts to sell at my lupus fundraiser), and the moment we finished, she just left, leaving me to clean up all the mess, again. Didn’t she get my post-it note the first time? Or my text that said, “haha, you allergic to cleaning? Hahaha” the second time? The heat that text emitted was palpable! But you look busy, so you don’t have to read what happened if you don’t want to:


I emailed her:


Hi Sara –

I’m not mad, but I cleaned up our crafts for the fifth time today. Unless I missed the memo, we both have hands? Hahah.


I’d never been this direct, but Sarah needed to be told. Did you see how I misspelled her name? I know she hates that. Oh boy, I felt so good about this email – I know this is all kind of dumb, you can go if you want, really – but I was particularly proud of my sign-off, too:


Just thought I’d keep to the spirit of the fundraiser and “raise awareness” of the situation !!


I think the mention of the fundraiser kept it noble, the exclamation points made it sincere, and calling her behavior “the situation” let her know I was upset. I thought you’d appreciate that part but it seems like you don’t really care, which is totally fine!!



If Sarah responds poorly, which I expect will happen, it’ll just be further proof that she’s too immature to handle being personally confronted. If she doesn’t respond at all, could you just tell her for me that I think that’s cool too and probably better? She’ll need time to ruminate on my words and hey you don’t have to but could you clean up that mess you just made? I just cleaned.


Never mind; just leave it.


Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to link this article on Facebook and pray that Sarah sees and apologizes and decides to offer to help me carry this dumb craft shit to this stupid fundraiser.