I’ve always been diligent about managing my credit, but recently I learned that even the most financially responsible people can be absolutely blindsided by the ruthless nature of the American healthcare system. For me, this happened after I’d decided to start making my bed with hospital corners, a way to neatly fold in the corners of your bedsheets, like they do in a hospital. But in just a few weeks, I received a letter telling me that I owed thousands of dollars in medical costs.
I already knew the healthcare system was broken, but I never expected this.
Looking for a change in my morning routine, I wanted to make my bedroom look a little more put together by making my bed in the neatest way possible. That’s why I decided to start making my bed with hospital corners, tucking the corners of my sheets in a calculated and precise way. I thought that this would be a free and calming activity to do, but I should’ve known that America never lets you get away that easily.
Oh, how naive I once was…
The hospital bill charged me for more than 23 thousand dollars, with several confusing expenses like “Utterance of the word ‘hospital’: $5000” and “Aspirin: $700”. My first thought was that my identity had been stolen since I hadn’t been to the hospital since I broke my arm 11 years ago, but then it hit me: All those hospital corners had finally caught up with me.
I can’t believe that I live in a country that will charge so much for simply staying in a hospital bed, and not only that, but they’ll also bury you in debt just for making your bed with hospital corners every morning!
What kind of sick and twisted nation is this?
I even have health insurance, which I thought covered making your bed with hospital corners, but after I called my insurance agent, I found out that folding your sheets under your mattress is out of their network, and now I have absolutely no idea how I’m going to pay this debt off.
I’ll probably be paying for making my bed with hospital corners or the rest of my godforsaken life.
For anyone out there reading this, don’t get caught up like I did. Whenever you feel the urge to do hospital corners when you’re making your bed in the morning, please STOP and THINK. You’re honestly better off just not making it at all! At least doing that only has a co-pay of $40+.
