There are countless things I love about my boyfriend. He’s strong and even-keeled. He’s steady in the face of every storm we’ve faced together. He has carried me, many times, over turbulent waters. And the thing I love most about him is that he is a fully furnished cruise ship.
Sure, my boyfriend’s appearance can be deceiving: On the outside, he is pale and smooth, but on the inside he has an electric generator powering all of his systems. That fire is at his heart, and it’s fed by love, faith, and also petroleum oil. There is an engineer monitoring a switchboard in my boyfriend’s core. I’m jealous of that man who gets to monitor the inner workings of the great beautiful and gentle ship that is my boyfriend.
Our relationship is not one-sided. For all the times my boyfriend has supported me, I also guide and help him. I’ve steered him out of dangerous waters many times. Without me, he could have found himself dangerously listing to one side or boarded by pirates. And let me tell you – I hate it when my boyfriend is overcome by pirates.
We’ve had our share of difficulties. Sometimes parts of him overheat. Once, his electrical power went out and his plumbing backed up, leaving him weak and the people he carried hopeless and covered in shit. Recently, he had a stowaway hiding in his hull. But that was okay. It was me!
As with all great love stories, some people in the world are against our relationship. People say things like, “You’re not right for each other,” or “He’ll only hurt you,” or “Ma’am, you need to get off the Carnival Cruise liner. This cruise is over now.” But I cannot imagine life without my boyfriend. I feel that I’ve known him forever. Maybe, in a past life, we did know each other – me a dreamy woman with an open heart and he a tall, serene ocean liner.
People call me crazy. Crazy is one thing they say over and over again, repeatedly. I don’t care. My boyfriend is tall, steady and even has a water slide. He cuts through the waters of life easily, and carries me peacefully with him. What can I say? He’s a ship..