Just last night, I endured the unthinkable. As I was boarding my flight to Los Angeles, I got to my seat and found out that I was sitting next to, get this – a guy.
I tried to keep an open mind. After all, he could have been really polite and just wanted to keep to himself the whole flight, but of course, that was not the case, because he is, after all, a guy.
I usually don’t want to judge someone based on their gender, but the fact that he took up the entire shared armrest between us for the entire flight made it pretty hard not to.
Every time a flight attendant would come to our row, he would ask me if I wanted anything, even though I was wearing headphones and have the full ability to ask for things myself.
Then he had the audacity to comment on the fact that I was drinking ginger ale.
Halfway through the flight, I started watching a movie on my phone, and he had to tell me that he “loves that director” even though he couldn’t remember his name. “He did that Marvel movie, right?”
Honestly, I can’t believe I made it out alive.
He also tried to assure me that going on a flight is actually safer than traveling in a car, even though I wasn’t scared of flying, and also didn’t ask.
“There’s 5 million car accidents compared to 20 accidents in flying, just so you know.”
I truly cannot believe I survived this unsolicited statistic. I was fighting for my life.
Being completely out of options, I decided to just go to sleep. At least he couldn’t bother me in my dreams – or so I thought. Suddenly I was having a nightmare about him teaching me about cryptocurrency, only to realize he was talking to me while I was sleeping about cryptocurrency.
As I pretended to sleep, hoping he’d eventually realize it, I decided that flying was no longer safe for me if a man could just randomly be seated next to me at any given moment. After weighing out the pros and cons, I finally mustered up the strength to tell him to please, please stop talking.
To which he said he liked my “spunk” and suggested I should get the book The 48 Laws of Power and I could borrow his if I promised to give it back.