Gingham is an all-around flattering print that matches everything, keeps your outfit fun, and also makes you look like a table cloth. But to get the most mileage out of your look, you want to ensure people know you’re a human who chose to wear gingham and not a wooden table covered in a gingham cloth. Here’s how to wear your favorite pattern without constantly being mistaken for a picnic table.
Stand Far Away From Food
It’s important to stand far away from food when you’re wearing gingham. If you don’t, people will sit down on either side of you, put their paper plates on your body, and start wiping BBQ sauce all over your cute gingham trousers. Avoid being mistaken for their picnic table by standing as far away from any food as possible, especially foods like pasta salad, watermelon slices, and grapes. Excuse yourself when you see people whip out their lunches at work. You can never be too careful in gingham!
Don’t Hold a Basket
If you’re in a gingham blouse holding a wicker basket, you can’t blame people for believing you’re a picnic table. For example, should an old woman ever ask you to hold her heavy basket and help her cross the street, don’t fall for her ploy. Politely decline and tell her, “I don’t want to be mistaken for a picnic table, thank you very much, ma’am.” She can find her own way home and you didn’t fall into this classic gingham trap!
Say You Hate Nature A Lot
When you’re wearing your best gingham dress and your boyfriend asks you to take a walk with him in the park, tell him you despise nature. Even if you do enjoy forests, lie! You can’t risk going to a park – the number one location for picnic tables. Someone may slosh their wine all over your perfectly ironed gingham dress, mistaking you for a disposable picnic cloth. Way to gingham, girl!
Curl Up In a Ball To Show You’re a Human
If a man looking to set up a picnic is about to place a pitcher of lemonade on you, drop to the ground and curl up into a ball. He’ll quickly realize you aren’t a gingham picnic table, but simply a very scared human woman in a checkered tunic. Stay on the ground, rocking back and forth, until he’s out of sight. Then continue on with your day, gingham style!
Use any of these tactics when you want to wear gingham but not be mistaken for a picnic table. And if none of these work for you, just scream “WOMAN IN GINGHAM COMING THROUGH” and people won’t mistakenly have a family gathering on top of you!
