Quantcast
Reductress
  • News
  • Living
  • Entertainment
  • Love and Sex
  • Womanspiration
  • Print Edition
  • Thoughts
  • Style

  • Podcasts
  • Shop
  • Events
  • Satire Workshops
Reductress

Women's News. Feminized.

  • Podcasts
  • Shop
  • Events
  • Satire Workshops

How to Take Things Slow Even Though He Bought You a Vitamin Water One Time

Print Edition -  Sep 7, 2021  By: Hayley Beacon 
  • Tweet

You've reached the Print Edition. The headline is the whole joke.

Subscribe to Coil for $5/month and get ad-free access to The Hard Times and more.

click to learn more >

SHARE:

Gatekeeping? This Three-Headed Dog Won’t Let Me Into Hell How to Get an Incredibly Beefy Neck in Time for Beefy Neck Season

SHOP REDUCTRESS:

  • "365 Days of Womanspiration" 2025 Daily Headline Calendar
  • "Gentle Parenting" Unisex Tee
  • "How to Stay Productive When the World Is Ending" Book
  • "Gay for Women's Basketball" Unisex Tee
  • "DINK" Unisex Tee
  • "More of A Weed Person" Can Cooler Sleeve
  • "I HAVE SENSORY ISSUES" Crewneck Sweatshirt
  • Reductress Presents: Play the Patriarchy! Card Game
  • "Calling My Representative Wasn't Enough, so I F*cked His Wife" Unisex Tee
  • "Fuck The Sun" Dad Hat
  • "Don't Talk to Me Until I've Had My Abortion" Black Mug
  • "Eldest Daughter" Unisex Tee
  • "I HAVE SENSORY ISSUES" Unisex Tee

POPULAR:

  • QUIZ: Are You Happy or Just Morally Complicit in Everything?
  • How To Tell If He’s Only Interested In Sex Or Just Wants To Fuck You
  • Woman Who Just Wiped Down Every Square Inch of Apartment Enjoys 15 Seconds of Dust-Free Space
  • Extreme Sport? Pilates Instructor Just Said to Do 6 More Arm Circles
  • women in bathrobe outside shower REPORT: Shower Crying Better Than Shower Sex
  • Period Support Your Man with These 8 Fake Laughs
  • ABOUT US
  • CONTACT
  • PARTNER WITH US
  • CAREERS
  • COLLEGES AND UNIVERSITIES
  • SHOP REDUCTRESS
  • PRIVACY POLICY

Read More:

  • News
  • Living
  • Entertainment
  • Style
  • Love & Sex
  • Thoughts
  • Womanspiration
  • From the Print Edition
  • R Network

Follow Us:

  • Facebook
  • Tumblr
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest
  • Instagram
  • Youtube

Sign Up For Our Newsletter...

Copyright 2025 Reductress.

×
WE'RE DESPERATE FOR YOUR APPROVAL.
FACEBOOK
TWITTER Follow @reductress
FOLLOW REDUCTRESS TODAY.