Author Archives for Hayley Beacon

How to Say No When Your Male Coworker Asks How You’re Doing

These White People Love Spices as Long as They are Wrapped in a Flavorless Capsule and Taken for Anti-Inflammatory Purposes

How to Take Things Slow Even Though He Bought You a Vitamin Water One Time

How to Set a Boundary with Dad When It Comes to Conversations About Gas Prices

Why I’m Waiting for the Montero Vaccine

Meryl Streep is Amazing Because She’s an Old Woman We Decided Not to Hate

Uh Oh! These Girl Bosses Only Get Paid in Girl Money

How to Stop Clenching Your Jaw at Night by Clenching it All Day Instead

How to Find His Prostate and Get Transported to Narnia

Colder Weather Pushes Outfit Lifespan to Four Days

Nonalcoholic Euphorics That Won’t Get You Drunk But Will Still Cost You $45

I Sleep When my Baby Sleeps, and I Coal Mine When my Husband Coal Mines

Woman So Tired She’ll Skip Checking the Shower for Murderer Tonight