Sometimes you’re on a Ferris Wheel on a date with your man, but the Ferris Wheel gets stuck because of not particularly well-explained maintenance issues and you really, really need to change your tampon. Sure, you don’t want to bleed all over the place or of Toxic Shock Syndrome, but you’re in an enclosed seat with the man who might be your future husband. Here’s how to subtly change your tampon on the top of that Ferris Wheel without your guy noticing.
Check your purse for tampons.
Right now, this is all about closing the distance between you and a fresh tampon. If you do not have tampons in your purse, you are done for because that means this process cannot be completed without flagging down a woman in the car behind you and thus drawing attention to your situation. If that is the case for you, start making subtle eyes at her, and good luck.
Tell him the stars look beautiful tonight.
This will make him look up at the sky, which will allow you to reach into the front of your pants and locate your tampon string. Gently tug to extract the tampon from your vagina.
Mention that you can never tell the difference between the Big Dipper and Ursa Major.
It’s a trick question, because those are two different names for the same constellation. This will buy you more time to take out the old tampon and get the new one ready for entry.
Inform him that it’s always been your fantasy to be a part of a Notebook Ferris Wheel scene reenactment.
Take a quick break from your tampon maneuvering to explain that he should jump out of the car and cling to the bar in front of you in a romantic way. This will allow you to go ahead and just change your tampon out in the open. If he does do as you recommend, go ahead and take the time to replace the tampon with a new one.
Use the wrapping from the new tampon to house the used tampon.
Go ahead and put the neat little bundle into your purse and enjoy your newfound feeling of empowerment.
If you feel so inclined you can go ahead and help your guy down from the Ferris Wheel bar, or just leave him there. The important thing is you have a fresh tampon in and no one is the wiser.
