It can be difficult to know if women are interested in you, particularly when you’re unable to differentiate clothing from her own lived experience. While it’s tempting to get the idea of what she’s trying to say through her crop top and skirt, here are the simplest ways to stop listening to what a woman’s outfit says about her, and start listening to what comes out of her mouth instead.
Remember That Outfits Don’t Speak Any Languages
When magazines say that an outfit “says” something, they don’t mean that literally. Outfits don’t speak English, or any language, and they definitely don’t have mouths. So next time you think an outfit is “asking for it,” remember that outfits actually can’t ask questions at all. On the other hand, women’s mouths not only know how to speak, they also know how to ask for things—such as whether or not they want to sleep with or be yelled at by you. Mini-skirts don’t process information, so that’s not a reliable source.
Listen With Your Ears
Good listeners know that the secret to listening is to actually use your ears instead of your eyes. If you’re in court during a rape trial, take a moment to press your ear up real close to the low-cut crop top that is being used as evidence against the victim. Shhh, shhh. Just listen. Do you hear anything? No, of course you don’t. Instead, lend your ear to the victim who is reliving a horrific trauma she had to go through. Those are words! They have meaning that a series of seams and zippers connected by fabric do not.
Believe What Comes Out of Women’s Mouths
Listening is not just about hearing the words coming out of her mouth, but understanding their meaning. The simplest way to do this is to avoid attacking a person because they have been through something you will never understand, and instead of getting defensive because you feel uncomfortable, just be attentive and supportive instead. See? Now you’re not even thinking about what she’s wearing!
Remember, clothes cannot speak. If you’re only listening to what women’s clothing has to say, it may be time to seek help!