So, you’re taking a trip to the city in which your close friend lives, and they’ve confirmed with you many times that they’d love to host you. This is what friendship is all about, baby! There’s just one problem: You feel extremely uncomfortable accepting help from anyone, even those who have repeatedly told you it makes them feel good to help you and only affirms their security in your friendship. Here’s how to stay at a friend’s house without apologizing every morning, afternoon, and night.
Remind yourself that your friend has free will.
Contrary to what your brain may be telling you, you did not manipulate your friend into allowing you to crash with them. They’ve done this of their own volition! You asked, and they said yes. They could have said no. Stop convincing yourself that they did not feel comfortable enough to say no even though they secretly did not want you there. They would have said no. Unless…
Bring an outsized gift.
Staying with your friend for three days? Get them a new car! This way, you can be certain the visit is a net positive for your friend, as they’ve now acquired a new car. Sure, they’ve told you over and over again that they’re excited for you to visit and genuinely enjoy seeing you, but the car thing will just ensure they mean it. Could you have stayed in a hotel ninety times over for the price of this car? That’s beside the point.
Remind yourself that it’s actually more annoying to apologize a bunch.
The best way to stop apologizing for your presence is to remind yourself that it is an even greater burden for your friend to have to deal with you apologizing all the time. Now, they have to comfort you, asshole. As if the inconvenience of hosting you wasn’t enough, you have now forced them to shoulder the emotional burden of consoling you, too. Narcissist alert!
Leave.
If all else fails, get the hell out of there. You’ve been a burden beyond belief. Your friend is probably furious that you’re even still here. Stop apologizing and fix it. Go on. Get! Get!
There you have it! Some quick and simple ways to make your next stay at your friend’s house easy, painless, and extremely short so as to cause minimal damage.
