How To Show People You’re More Than Your Unethical Career Choice

When you choose a career for its salary-earning potential alone, it can be hard to prove to people that you’re a good, caring person who wants to make an impact on the world. If you want to show people that you’re a sensitive human who practices what you preach sort of, try these simple actions that will show people there’s more to you than profiting off the suffering of others. This is just how capitalism works!


If you market Tobacco, take a yoga class.

Up to half of all smokers will die from their habit, and cigarette companies lure teens in early with the help of people like you. But just because you spend your days tempting other people towards disease, doesn’t mean your not committed to healthy living! Do some yoga, grab a smoothie, and pat yourself on the back for being more than your day job – you have a hobby, too!


If you work at a firm that lobbies on behalf of for-profit prisons, listen to Beyoncé!

You don’t love your job lobbying for private prisons and ensuring the continued existence of some of the most detrimental and life-destroying institutions of systemic racism, but hey, it’s a paycheck! Luckily you can show your friends that you’re a fun loving gal who totally isn’t racist by performing the occasional Beyoncé song at karaoke. No one really asks you about what you do all day at work, and that’s the way you like it!


If you harvest shark fins, buy a betta fish!

So what if you spend your days at sea, cutting the fins off sharks and then throwing the rest of the poor shark’s body back in the sea to die. It doesn’t mean you don’t love nature! Prove that you love animals in spite of this cruel profitable act you perform regularly, by owning another prettier animal, like a dog, or a cute fish! If that doesn’t work, just remind them about your student loans.



If you drive up the costs of prescription medications, donate blood.

Your company was already profiting pretty well off the sales of these cancer drugs to begin with, but you figured, why not try for a promotion by adjusting the price to fit “demand?” Once your company’s stock has tripled, ask some friends if they want to come donate blood with you so that you seem like more than someone who contributed to dying people spending hours on the phone with their insurance company just to get a bigger office and a nicer vacation this year.


You are not your job. Or at least you hope not, because that would mean that you’re actually not a good person. But we get it; we’re all just cogs in the wheel!