Someday when you least expect it, you might find yourself warming up to the idea of being a parent someday. But your mother has been pursuing her decades-long campaign to guilt you into having children, which has taken away any joy you might have had about bringing a child into this world. Here’s how to begin the process of embracing motherhood without giving your mother being all “I told you so” about a major life choice you weren’t ready for until literally right now.
Remind her that you came to this decision on your own.
It can be hard for your mother to believe that without years and years of incessantly nagging you about finding a partner and ultimately producing offspring, that you could have possibly come to the idea of having sex in order to make a baby on your own. Remember that she grew up in a time when tricking daughters into breaking their body with a baby at a young age was a fun pastime for moms, but since you are older now, it’s far less likely that you’ll quietly resent your baby, ultimately sending them to therapy in their teens.
Plan something around your pregnancy that will deeply alarm her.
One simple way to wipe that smug look off her face is to have a non-traditional conception or birthing process to show that you’re doing things your fucking way this time. Depending on which style of aggrieved mother you have, try letting your baby choose their own name when they’re old enough, or scheduling a C-section way ahead of time. If you need to go nuclear – just tell her you’re raising your child as a single parent! This will especially alarm her even more if you have a partner.
If all else fails – hide your baby from her until she apologizes for the past ten years of harassment.
Soon enough, you’ll have a baby to hold over your head – literally and figuratively! Make sure to use that against her whenever you can. This is healthy and normal!
And there you go! You may not be able to fully prevent your mother from getting the satisfaction of knowing that you’d “come around eventually,” but you can take meaningful steps to let her know she had absolutely no part in helping you get there. Have fun and happy future parenting!