How To Make Calling Yourself a Witch Your Whole Personality

There’s nothing cuter or quirkier than calling yourself a witch! Witches are fun, mysterious and a totally unique way to prove you’re not like the other girls – you’re like a witch! If you’re hot but also want people to know you have a salt lamp and that makes you a badass, try it out! Here are some ways to make calling yourself a witch your whole personality.


Call yourself a witch.

Say things like, “I’m a witch” or “I look like a witch” or #witchlife to indicate to everyone that there’s something, I don’t know, special about you. You read your horoscope. You eat a plant-based diet. You’re model-hot but you’re not afraid to be near trees! Sure there are actual women out there who practice Wicca and genuinely identify as witches, but that’s not you! You just want people to know that you’re fun because you smoke weed! Get the word “WITCH” on a hat because the image of a pentagram scares you and you haven’t bothered to learn about the goddess or moon phases or any of that other stuff.


Comment “omg it me” on a picture of a witch.

Let everyone know that one time you grew out your armpit hair by commenting “omg it me” on a picture of a witch online. You want to get across that yes, you’re conventionally attractive, but also sort of weird because you burnt sage in you new home after reading about it on Pinterest right before you decided you didn’t really like the smell and threw it all out. So why not just say you’re a witch instead of trying to have any actual interests or personality traits. This is really all you have!!



Collect crystals.

The fun thing about crystals is that they’re as basic as they come but also you can pretend that owning them makes you interesting and “a witch.” Lots of people own crystals. Most aunts and all art teachers, for instance. But you can make owning them your whole personality by saying, “I have crystals” every chance you get! If people ask how you’re cleansing them or charging them or whether you have grids set up, just say, “lol I’m a witch” because that’s pretty much your whole deal.


Congrats! You’ve now made calling yourself a witch your entire personality. You are boring but who cares, you called yourself a witch and witches are FUN. As women, there are lots of ways we could describe ourselves, but witch is the easiest! So just do that!