Having sex is important! It proves that you’re not a nerd, and it can even be pretty fun. But what do you do when your body insists on doing something embarrassing during the act of lovemaking, like saying, “Thank you yum yum!” whenever someone enters you? Read on to learn how to get your coitus game back on track – no matter what weird things your body inexplicably says during intercourse.
Don’t be afraid to customize.
So your body is sexually hungry and wants to sex-eat other people’s body parts. We get it! Unfortunately, hearing the same weird phrase over and over again can get repetitive. Instead, try this: whenever someone enters you, begin by throwing out your standard “thank you yum yum” and then follow it up with something equally fun and sexual, like “vroom vroom yum vroom” (if your sex partner likes cars) or “yum yum flesh baguette” (if they like baking). Your partner is sure to be sexually aroused by all the references to their hobbies and interests and not at all confused about what you’re saying!
Distract yourself.
Coitus can certainly pull a lot of focus when it’s happening, but there’s no reason why a properly distracted lovemaker can’t manage to avoid saying “thank you yum yum” during messy bed time. Try thinking about a simple, neutral topic instead of sex, such as the global economy, hummingbirds, The Count of Monte Cristo, or the concept of thread count. Just don’t think about Dune. Oh, stop thinking about Dune!!! Yum yum!
Look to other cultures.
Did you know that instead of saying “thank you,” they say “merci” in French and “qatlho’” in Klingon? You do now! So go use these words in a sexual context!
Embrace your beautiful self.
Okay, so we’re all just supposed to walk around acting like it’s normal that we want people and objects to be inside our bodies sometimes? That’s literally so much weirder than wanting to say “thank you yum yum” whenever something enters you. So own your truth! Are you a person who will always say “yum yum vegetarian penis” whenever someone uses their strap on you? Yes. Does that make you any less of a viable sexual partner? Absolutely not. Hold your weird sex head up high! You’re a star!
So there you have it! The four easiest ways to have good sex even though you always say “thank you yum yum” whenever someone enters you. Happy fucking! Please try not to think about Dune!
