How To Get Talked Into a Relationship You Don’t Want


He’s been texting you “Hey” every morning for weeks, and you’ve been responding with the bare minimum required for him to not think you’re rude. He hasn’t gotten the message that you’re not into him, so it’s probably time for you to date him for six to twelve months. Here’s how to lower your standards and accept that this relationship is better than nothing:


Don’t Make Any Rash Decisions

If you let this go on long enough, one morning you’ll wake up and find yourself four months into a relationship you never outright asked for or explicitly rejected. And that will be okay, probably? It’s just a few months.


Think About All the Ways You Waste Time

Six episodes of The Goldbergs on Hulu? An hour Googling how to get rid of ingrown hairs? So why not spend an evening having dinner with someone whose company you find mildly pleasant at best and just sort of annoying at worst? This minor weekly time investment will pay itself back in spades when you need a date to a wedding in eight months. That’s not terrible, right? Stick it out.


Browse Through Tinder

Spend an hour swiping right! After the eighth “nice boobs” message and a few dick pics, you’ll remember the world is full of assholes, and this guy is definitely not an asshole. He’s fine. Really. He’s fun. Or at least he could accompany you to do fun things not alone.



Remember That Caring About Things Is Hard

Next time you feel exhausted by listening to another one of his boring work stories, take a pause and remember the last time you let yourself really want something. I mean, really want it. Didn’t it hurt when that didn’t work out? No danger of that here: The stakes are low! Better to feel numb. Sometimes it’s okay to do things because they’re easy. Lots of people settle. You can be one of those people too, can’t you?


With these simple strategies, getting stuck in a meaningless relationship should be a piece of cake! Speaking of cake, as soon as you’re in a relationship, your mom will stop giving you that look every time she sees you take a second piece. So…that’s something, right? Right??