Nothing screams “summer!” like perfect, chiseled abdominal muscles. But getting them on your body often involves long-term habits, like exercise and discipline. So why not channel your six-pack dreams into an impressive erotic ice sculpture? Use this guide to get the sculpted abs you desire, right on a block of ice!
Eat enough healthy fats.
You’re going to need serious fuel for the long hours of chipping away at those hard-to-come-by, intricately detailed obliques. Not to mention the long effort of hauling the block of ice off the back of your truck after picking it up from that specialty ice depot! Make sure to take plenty of healthy snack breaks so that your blood sugar doesn’t drop. No one can make believable abdominal ice art when they’re shaky!
Forget old-fashioned sit-ups.
No need to actually do any sit-ups or crunches, since you’re mostly working with your hands here. Instead, invest in a multi-piece ice sculpting toolkit. It’ll run you anywhere from $47–$1500, but who can put a price tag on showing off all of those hours of hard work? It’s worth it for the look on your friend’s faces when they walk in and say, “Whoa, that ice sculpture has sick abs!”
Remember that nothing tastes as good as a melting rock hard tummy feels to the touch.
Here’s a tale as old as time: When dinner guests see abs on an ice centerpiece, they wanna touch ‘em. And the truth is, the pride you’ll feel watching them do so at your next dinner party will taste almost as good as wearing a bikini without a giant t-shirt over it.
Get serious about your sculpting goals.
Do you mean it when you say you want your ice sculpture to have the ripped midriff of Channing Tatum? Does the word “dedicated” mean anything to you? Then for the love of all things fitness, you better put in the time it takes to perfectly sculpt an icy six-pack fit for a Greek god.
No pain, no gain.
You might injure yourself in your pursuit of the perfect physique for your ice sculpture. It happens. The best athletes rise above and get back at it the next day. That ice carving’s not gonna get washboard abs by itself! So put down that pint of Ben & Jerry’s (on top of the ice-sculpture if you want because it’ll stay cold there) and get to work.
Remember: Ab aren’t made in the gym, they’re made in the garage you’ve turned into a makeshift ice-carving studio. Happy sculpting!
