How to Get Into a Relationship Serious Enough For Them to Take You to The Airport on Wednesday

Thanksgiving is a couple days away, and you’re flying home to spend it with your family. You don’t mind having to field prying questions from relatives about when you’re going to get married, but you do mind missing out on the best perk of having a significant other: a ride to the airport. Here’s how to get into a relationship serious enough for them to take you to the airport this Wednesday.


Blast Through Tinder

Everyone’s hoping to avoid a lonely holiday season, so take advantage of that and get yours! Change your profile to reflect your current, almost urgent, needs: “Looking for a kind, down-to-earth spirit who seeks adventure and owns a car. Must love to laugh and also be free Wednesday at 3:30 pm, 3:45 at the latest!” Give yourself the best shot by trying 3nder, the threesome-finding app. Two people means a better chance of one of them being able to bring you to O’Hare at 9pm on a Wednesday.


Tell Your Ex You Still Love Him

You swore you’d never get back together with your ex, but your flight is on Wednesday and paying for a cab is expensive. Shoot a text to your most recent ex and tell him you still love him. Ask him if you two can talk over your past on a drive, say to the airport on the way to your flight. Bonus: you can pick the conversation right where you left off when he picks you up at the airport after the holiday. At the end of those car rides you can thank him for his time, but let him know you are probably best staying broken up… until Christmas plane rides roll around, at least.



Open a Joint Checking Account

If you can only find a new boyfriend without a car on such short notice, don’t worry! Open a joint checking account with him immediately, and then use those funds to pay for a ride. Hell, why not get a rental car and drive yourself? He can handle paying for the car to sit in an airport lot for like five days. Just jump on this quick because banks may close early Wednesday. Thanks, babe!


It’s a race against the clock, so put yourself out there. With some hard work and luck you’ll find a partner just in time for that ride to the airport. Now go enjoy Thanksgiving, ya little coupled up turkey!