Getting your man to do what you want can be hard, but not impossible! You may want him to cook you a homemade meal, to take a vacation with you, or maybe you’re the kind of gal who wants her dude to offer to pick up the shits she leaves on the sidewalk! We get it! Here are some tricks to getting him to walk behind you and pick up your poop in a little bag so you don’t have to worry about it.
Stand Near the Door
If your goal is to go outside and have your dude pick up a poop out there, your best bet is to stand near the door waiting for it to open. Stare at it longingly until he finally gets the hint that you’re ready to poop. Once in a while you can put your hand on the door, as if to signal “please open this, must shit.” You may feel like you’re begging, but soon enough he’ll be trailing along behind you wrapping his hand around your warm poops!
If You’re Out Walking Together, Stop to Shit
Even if he’s speed walking along, that shouldn’t stop you from taking a necessary shit. Even if you’re holding hands, you can squat down and drag your pooping ass along the ground as he tries to pull you. He’ll realize it’s fruitless to stop you, and soon enough he’ll be grabbing your poo because he can’t very well leave it on the sidewalk, can he?!
Get Really Excited And Slurp Up Any Food He Offers You
Whether he is grabbing putting a plate of food out for you, or just accidentally dropping something on the ground, that is yours to eat happily and it is also your future poop for him to scoop! Freak out, kiss him and shake your ass as you munch, baby! Just do whatever you can to make sure he knows he did the right thing and the only thing he has to do now is follow your lead as you waddle down the street and pick up your steaming dumps!
Stare at Him While You Poop
Use your gorgeous eyes that he fell in love with to convince him to clean up your butt mess! Stare deeply into his soul without saying a word. After enough uninterrupted eye contact and an occasional whimper on your part, he’ll realize it’s time for him to finally take the hint and spend the rest of his life watching you shit, then wrapping that poopey up and putting it in a garbage so you never have to deal with it!
Follow these directions so your dude will learn to love seeing and cleaning your ass shit. Don’t feel bad if he looks tired, he knew what he was getting himself into! Also, he’s obsessed with you! Happy shitting!!
