Staying alive can be arduous work, even when 23 minors aren’t actively trying to slaughter you. Actually, it might be even harder! You have to figure out what to eat, when to sleep, and what to wear, plus on top of all that you probably have a job. Here’s how to do the grueling and never ending of feeding yourself when no one is sending you little parachute care packages a la Suzanne Collins hit YA dystopian book series and subsequent feature films, The Hunger Games.
Look in your fridge.
Even when you feel like “I have nothing to eat!” odds are, you have something to eat. Open up your fridge and rummage around in there! Old but technically not expired Greek yogurt, shredded cheese, gochujang: these are all technically foods! Just as 12-year-old Katniss had to start trespassing into the woodlands and hunting wild prey to sustain her family after her father tragically died, you too must figure out if you’re in the mood for eggs or nah.
Peruse Yelp.
If you’ve given up on what’s on hand, hop on Yelp and search for restaurants in your vicinity. Are you in the mood for Mexican? Thai? Italian? Choice is the enemy of happiness — a reality Katniss never had to deal with in The Arena. Girlie just ran around climbing trees and then having random benefactors send her treats in tiny parachutes that came floating down from the sky. Sure she had to murder people and take care of a short boy covered in mud, but you would totally do all that if it meant not having to figure out dinner.
Order delivery.
Having a meal delivered right to your front door is a luxurious experience, and about as close as you can come to your gruff alcoholic mentor sending you bread in a basket when you most need it. So go ahead and treat yourself to a little takeout. Of course, you still have to select what you want, order it, and pay for the food, so in many ways this is far more draining than fighting for your life in a synthetic environment designed to psychologically torture you, but them’s the breaks!
So if no one is sending you emotionally significant meals in tiny parachutes, then use these approaches to figure out what to eat. Then smoke some weed and order a pizza. Be sure to tip and give your delivery guy the three-finger salute!
