All successful women know that resolving conflict begins with understanding where disagreements stem from: your phone! Dealing with conflict by drowning your cellphone is the most effective method for eliminating negativity and criticism, and the best way to avoid another needless fight with Dan over what that turkey leg emoji really meant. Follow these steps to help you recognize when drowning your phone will solve all your problems:
1. Ask questions to get to the heart of the matter, then throw your phone into a lake.
The first step to conflict resolution is asking questions. For example, if a friend texts you the question, “What were you thinking when you said rich people should all get herpes in front of my boss?” you could respond by walking to a nearby pond and holding your phone under the water for two to four minutes.
2. Recognize differing opinions and perceptions, then place your phone in a lake.
When managing interpersonal conflict, it’s important to remember that everyone has a different perspective. Once you think you have an idea of how the other person feels about your constant responses of “Huh????”, you can drop kick your cellphone into a swamp.
3. Identify your own mistakes, then start finding some promising lakes.
It’s difficult to acknowledge that you may be the problem. However, in order to achieve productive conflict resolution, one must always be thinking, What did I do wrong? How can I improve? Where is the nearest lake?
4. Prevent escalation by hurling your phone in a lake.
It’s easy to let emotion take over. However, you should always try to stay calm in the midst of a disagreement. Try this tactic whenever you feel overwhelmed by the intensity of an exchange: Take a deep breath, count to twenty, breath deeply, and calmly excuse yourself. Then, walk purposefully to the wetlands and gently sling your phone into the water.
5. Make a plan for resolution and commit to a day at the lake.
It’s important to identify a productive compromise and then stick with that plan. A resolution might entail you promising to be a more active listener or talk about your juice cleanse less. You don’t even need to make a big production out of it. Just go to a lake, and aim for the floating dock!
Follow these tips any time you need to constructively deal with conflict in your personal life. Then watch your interpersonal relationships soar while your phone becomes damaged beyond repair by nature’s most abundant natural resource.
