Raising chickens can be a great way to ease into a more sustainable lifestyle, but it’s important to remember that chickens are messy as fuck. The pecking order is totally real, and they’re always jockeying for position. If you’re new to the world of backyard chickens, here’s how to care for them without getting caught up in the drama of their toxic environment.
Set boundaries.
Even simple tasks like filling the hanging feeder can be tricky to accomplish without getting sucked into a chicken coop’s negative energy vortex. The massive amount of shit your chickens produce is nothing compared to the emotional dumping that goes on in the average henhouse. Do whatever necessary to establish healthy boundaries, even if that means physically removing yourself from the situation — take a walk around the block or get an Airbnb for the weekend!
Don’t play favorites.
Chickens are jealous and resentful creatures, so try to avoid singling anyone out. Giving individual compliments by holding up an especially pretty egg or remarking on someone’s shiny coat can create outcasts and unleash untold retribution after lights out. If you don’t want to wake up to blood and feathers, make sure each member of the group feels loved equally, even if they totally don’t deserve it.
Ignore the haters.
Sometimes you might be the one the chickens decide to gang up on, but don’t let them use you as a doormat. If a chicken tries to make you feel less-than, brush it off and rise above — you’re doing the best you can! And even though you probably never would, let them know that you could kill and eat any one of them without any legal repercussions whatsoever. It’s important they remember!
So if you think backyard chickens might be right for you, follow these steps to avoid the drama and send a clear message that you only tolerate emotional abuse from your cat!
