If you were a cool girl in the late nineties and early aughts, then you likely spent hours fanning through the iconic Delia’s catalog. Well, after years of being out-of-business, Delia’s is back: so get ready to shop like it’s 1999! But you should do so while keeping in mind that you’re not 11 anymore, so here’s a quick guide to browsing the revamped Delia’s collection without feeling instinctively compelled to check your Neopets account.
Do it at work.
If you’re gonna commit some time from your day to reliving your preteen years and buying a ton of tiny, striped turtleneck halter tops from the new Delia’s collection, try doing it at work. That way, the GChat notifications will remind you every so often that you are an adult who has a big girl job and not a brace-faced middle schooler who hasn’t fed her JubJub in nearly a week. Check your 401k instead!
Play some popular, current music.
Before you lean into the nostalgia and order ten pairs of chunky platform Mary Janes, turn on some tunes that came out within the last year or so. Listening to Ariana Grande’s new album will not only inspire you to buy a cute ass outfit from Delia’s new collection, it’ll also remind you that no, you are not shopping for your first school dance, and there is no need to play Destruct-o-Match for three hours today. Times have changed and so have you!
Put your birth certificate by your computer screen.
Having the constant reminder of the year you were born will keep you grounded while you peruse the dozens of graphic crop tops that reborn Delia’s has to offer. Noting the 25+ year gap in time between the date on the certificate and the current year will prevent you from feeling a strong, subconscious urge to buy your Meerca a new petpet and take them both on a daily trip to the giant omelette. Focus on the now!
Acknowledge that you don’t even know your old screen name or password.
Realistically, even if you feel biologically urged to check your Neopets account during an intense babydoll dress buying binge from the new Delia’s collection, you’ll have to be honest with yourself: you don’t even remember your old screen name or corresponding password. And since you used your long-defunct 9th grade email, firstname.lastname@example.org, to sign up for Neopets in the first place, you’ll have to just come to terms with the fact that you’ll just be online shopping and not blindly going to the homepage hoping to see if any of your Neopets died (they didn’t!).
We’re so excited that Delia’s is back!! You shouldn’t hold back from purchasing a lil piece of your adolescence, but with these tips, you’ll be able to do so without being distracted by all your decades-starved Neopets!