One of the beauties of motherhood is getting the chance to be the type of parent you wish you had. Perhaps you wish your parents had been gentler, or more open, or maybe you wish they had gotten you and your siblings together to form a band of kids who rock out to really emotional ballads, much like the circa-2008 smash hit group, the Naked Brothers Band, fronted by Nat and Alex Wolff. Here are a few ways you can come to terms with your decision not to have children even though it’s been your life’s dream to raise the next Naked Brothers Band.
Remember: raising kids can be hard.
It can be easy to think raising kids is all “drum kits and confetti cannons” when you’re looking at motherhood through 2000s-esque big sunglasses, but it’s hard work. Sure, it would be awesome to see your kids write and perform songs like, “Long Distance Relationships Can Kill You” and “Crazy Car” to audiences of adoring fans from the ages of seven to 13 (plus a few straggler 18-year-olds), but that’s not all that motherhood is. For every one of those moments, there will be times you’ll just want to smoke a cigarette without some idiot two-year-old in your ear telling you it’s bad.
Remind yourself that it wouldn’t be fair to put that much pressure on your kids.
Childhood is about exploration, freedom, and learning how to be yourself. Would your kids probably be grateful at the end of the day that you deprived them of that typical experience to instead form a band that gets its own spin-off show on Nickelodeon? Yes. But it’s also a surefire way to raise kids who will, at one point in their lives, throw a drumstick and wacky colored tie at you and yell, “This isn’t my dream, mom. It’s yours.”
Try to find joy in other places.
There’s got to be more to this life than birthing and raising the next Naked Brothers Band! Without the burden of motherhood, you could take up new hobbies or travel the world. Hey, maybe you could even start a band of your own instead of forcing that onto your kids! After all, if that’s not love, then what is? If that’s not friendship, then what is? If that’s not music, then what is? These are lyrics from a Naked Brothers Band song.
So, when the night gets cold and you find yourself wondering if you made a mistake in not having kids, as this precludes you from raising the next Naked Brothers Band, remember that everyone has to make hard choices. You will be okay! You can always watch reruns!
