How I Finally Got My Crush to Notice Me by Loudly Doing Cat Cow Pose

It can be hard work to get the person you’re crushing on to really see you, especially if clear communication is a skill you’re incapable of for reasons that will stay between me and my therapist.


That used to be me, but then I took matters into my own hands and finally got my crush to notice me by loudly, sexily doing cat-cow pose in his immediate vicinity. Here’s how:


All semester I had a crush on one of my classmates. He was really cute, rarely spoke in class, and the rest I just sort of filled in with my imagination. While we seemed like the perfect couple, I had no idea how to make him give me the time of day. Seriously, I asked him what time of day it was once, and he didn’t even respond. He might have had AirPods in. Anyway, it seemed totally hopeless, but then one fateful afternoon on the quad I realized there’s something no human can feasibly ignore, and that’s me rounding my spine then arching my back with so much force and subsequent moaning that anyone within 50 feet has no choice but to stare.



You can’t force a connection. You can, however, pique someone’s interest by doing a yoga pose that is a dizzying blend of the least and most sexy positions you can put your body in directly at them in a public space.


And then, it happened: he said, “Hey, why are you doing that?”


Then I started sobbing with joy!


It has been a beautiful journey learning that I am the type of girl who can assume the cat-cow pose next to someone while vocalizing in a way that makes people wonder if I’m fucking something. I even threw some moos and meows in there toward the end, and I do not regret that even though he did gather his belongings and leave shortly thereafter.


If you’re inspired by my story, I say try it out yourself. I may not know how my crush feels about me yet, but I do know he’s seen what I would look like when we finally make love, and not everyone can say that, can they?