If you have an apartment that has walls AND a spider problem, you might sometimes deal with those spiders occasionally crawling on your walls. If you crush them, you might have what we call a spider smear. But don’t despair—here are a few tips for how a smeared spider can really bring your wall together.
Bring Nature Into Your Home
When you’re stuck in the city with only a single, tiny window to the outside, a crushed spider smear might be just what you need to bring the fresh air of nature into your home. And it’s versatile! It can replace a bouquet of flowers or rock garden or even a goldfish bowl by inviting the serenity of the great outdoors into your home. Or it can give your apartment a rustic tone and serve to memorialize a great kill.
Reconnect with the Past
Crushing a spider is our most primal instinct. We’ve mashed spiders into walls since we were Neanderthals, when spider smears were decorating the walls of caves. A spider smear as a stylistic choice serves as an homage to the past that not only says, “I don’t like getting bitten by spiders,” but also, “My kind have never liked to get bitten by spiders.”
Placement, Placement, Placement
Spruce up any drab cream-colored wall with a well-placed, textured, dark brown accent spot. This will highlight the parts of your wall that are spider stain-free and make that cream color finally pop like you’d always hoped it would.
A Wallet-Friendly Solution
A spider smear is not only an exceptional design solution, but it’s also a very budget-friendly one. Follow the “Three S’s” equation: Spiders + Smear = Savings. Sure, that Matisse that’s up for auction might look good over your couch, but it costs much more than a spider smear, and is it really any more abstract?
Add More Wall Accents by Spidering up That Drab Chair
Chairs need new upholstery? Give them a new life by killing a spider on them.
Bring Smears to Unexpected Areas
Kitchen cabinets need a new stain? Coat that wood with a fresh layer of spider.
If Spiders Aren’t Available to You
If a natural spider infestation is not readily available behind any of the walls in your home, look into a potential termite, roach, or bedbug infestation. You might not believe it, but a roach or termite smear has almost the exact same aesthetic quality as a spider stain, and a bedbug smear gives a fun pop of deep red to your living space. While you might know the truth, your friends will never spot the difference!
Use these tips and that smearing thumb of yours to really bring the wall of your apartment together!